Snow Day

I feel so blessed that I am able to be with my little boy every day. I try to do the things with him that are most valuable, though that is very hard to do at times. Sometimes it's so much easier to just let him do his own thing and I do my own. Though I think that is important, I also think it's really important to spend quality time with them and teach them. Canyon however has never really liked if I've ever tried to "teach" him anything. He doesn't love to read books (though I think he's starting to tolerate them a little bit more). I know that I can expect too much out of him because I think he should be able to do things that he's just not ready for yet. I try not to. 

I love that I am able to be home with Canyon every day, and it is really hard when he is having a particularly Monstrous day. However, at the end of the day...I look at that little boy and can't imagine anyone else. He is perfect to us, and we love him so much. He is very smart, and picks up on the things HE decides to. I am always amazed as I watch him, and hope that all parents get those chances to see the "little things". 

Canyon doesn't understand that he is going to be a big brother, and I am nervous for the stress he'll feel when Alena comes home! 

I feel so blessed, and just hope that I can be the kind of Mom that Canyon and our baby girl need. I hope they never doubt how much I love them.
Canyon is constantly testing his limits. I have never been so surprised at how fast he can whip up tears. Every day is challenging when I can't understand what he needs and he just loses patience with me. Canyon loves to get out and go places. Last week I was able to take him to two different Indoor Play places. He absolutely loved it. One was called JumpTime and he was able to just jump on trampolines and the big blow up slides. There were only a couple of other young kids there, so it felt like we had the whole place to ourselves. I loved trying to show Canyon that jumping in the big foam pit was fun and soft. He never really came to trust me, and I found that it was not easy to climb out of. The other place I took Canyon to was called Danik. It was much more packed with kids running around.  It is a gymnastics gym that opens up for the public on some days of the week. Canyon wandered around completely content. It had only been two days earlier that we went to the other gym, but he was a lot more daring at Danik. I think seeing the other Older kids jumping and throwing themselves into the foam pit made Canyon trust that he could handle it too. He was still semi-cautious, but he had more fun because he tried more things. I love being able to see him have such a great time.

The weather has been really mild here but we got a pretty big snowstorm on Wednesday. Casey was able to be home for a while and he took a break to play in the snow for a while with Canyon. They (mostly daddy) made their first snowman! Canyon watched but he didn't have good gloves so his little hands were pretty cold.  Even though the snowman was big, it was already melted by the next morning. The rain took him down.
I love that Casey was willing to play in the snow with Canyon, and because we don't get a lot of snow up here, I especially wanted them to have that opportunity. Watching how much Canyon adores his Daddy is so heart warming. I love those boys and am so grateful for them.

It's a Girl!

We started off our first week of the New Year with our Ultrasound appointment! I had been losing sleep for way too long anticipating this appointment. I get scared every time I have a doctors appointment, praying that everything is progressing well with the baby. A friend I have here had just miscarried twins, so I was even more unsure and scared. I am grateful for modern medicine to help put my concerns at ease. 

Casey, Canyon and I all went to this appointment and Canyon was very concerned the whole time because the room was completely dark besides the monitor showing our healthy baby. My bladder was Very Full, so it was a pretty uncomfortable thirty minutes while the doctor checked from every angle to make sure the baby was measuring well, was developing well, and of course to see the gender. The little stinker had her legs pulled up so we couldn't see the gender very well. However, after checking from various angles, the doctor concluded that it's a baby girl. We have loved the name Alena for several years (yes, we had it chosen before Casey even served a mission). So, Baby Alena is due to enter the world on May 11, 2012. 

I, of course was thrilled with the news that it was a girl, but I would have been happy either way. As long as our baby is healthy, that is what really matters to any expectant mother. I loved that the doctor explained what she was looking for during the ultrasound. With Canyon I had no idea what we were looking at. Alena was very well developed and you could see her profile just perfectly. The doctor explained that her brain looked great, her heart looked great, her bladder, etc. I was very happy to hear this. 

Baby Alena at 22 weeks

I am excited to have another little baby that I already love with all my heart, but I am very nervous at the same time. Being a mom once is hard...being a mom twice, I'm a little scared! I know that everything will work out, and I am grateful for the knowledge that our children chose Casey and I as their parents and the Lord is trusting us to do our very best with them. I love our little boy more and more every day, and I know that my heart has also wrapped around Alena. I can't wait to meet her, and know that it will be very challenging...but also very rewarding.

Christmas Time Once Again

 I really love Christmas time, and this year we tried to enjoy the "season" all month long. We had our tree up the entire month, and Canyon did very well to not touch because we were very consistent. We put up our tree and some extra lights just inside while Canyon napped, and when he woke up from his nap we were able to surprise him. He wasn't entirely sure what all the fuss was about, but I enjoyed every bit of it.

We got the opportunity to go to Advent Sunday's with the Hoeger's again this year, and what a wonderful tradition that is. I really enjoyed it, and it's not just because we get cookies every time :) The Holiday season just feels warm, and welcoming. In the Hoeger home, they adopted the German tradition of celebrating an "Advent Sunday" for the Four Sunday's prior to Christmas. They make several different kinds of cookies (ie. sugar cookies, ....) Each Sunday you light a candle (one for each Sunday so the first you only light one, but for the fourth you light four) and read Christmas stories while you snack on cookies. It is a really cool tradition that I am grateful to have been a part of.

Because both Casey and I work consistently, we were grateful for the opportunity to go to Utah for a whole week this Christmas! The biggest tradition I remember growing up with for Christmas has always been the Christmas Eve nativity reenactment we do with my Mom's family. This year I'm afraid will probably be my grandma Summers' last year. She came, and though she is in the later stages of Lewey Body (a form of dementia), I think she enjoyed it. My uncle Richard even got her to sing a couple of songs with him. It was really a wonderful experience to be there with her. I watched her closely with tears in my eyes, and she would look at me (because I was directly in front of her) after her song was over and give me a constant grin as if to say (what are you crying for?). I love my Grandma so much.

Canyon got to be a wise man in the nativity this year, and he was VERY displeased with the crown that I made him wear. He eventually got over it, and looked so handsome, though he wouldn't hold still to even get good pictures!

We got to stay at my parents house for Christmas and my brother Josh and his family did as well. I could hear the girls out in the living room VERY early checking out the surprises Santa had left them. I am excited for when Canyon gets old enough to really enjoy it! Canyon didn't really care much that he had presents to open...rather, he played with some VERY OLD army men my mom had in a bin. I got to open all his presents and mine! Oh, what fun :)

Christmas landed on a Sunday this year, so we had the privilege of going to the Sacrament meeting in Eureka. The chapel was full. I was very impressed with all of the people that showed up!!! Especially on Christmas Morning. I guess the members had been encouraged to invite someone to come with them, and they did a fantastic job. It was really special.

Canyon's Christmas Eve Jammies. The one present he did open!

Canyon really loves dogs...especially Happy.

My dad has a side table that Canyon dubs his man cave while we visit.

The bin of army men that Canyon wouldn't put down

Cousins: Becca, and Ani

Coolest present ever! Canyon loves his car from Grandma Susy

We enjoyed playing Just Dance on the Wii...Adults, and kids were jumping around!

On New Years Eve, we didn't really stay up, but we did watch a movie at Papa's before going to bed...Canyon loved the popcorn.

Canyon playing with his cousins: Kylise and Maddie.

The entire week we were in Utah, there was never really a quiet moment. Coming from a bigger family makes  for some loud get-togethers! Unfortunately, I felt like I wasn't ever really able to spend much quality time with anyone. When there is a lot of people around, it just doesn't feel like you're necessarily "with" anyone. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but either way...I'm grateful I had the opportunity to spend the Christmas Holiday with Family.

I of course couldn't take a break from teaching Zumba, so I taught each morning at the church for whoever felt like getting up early enough to get a workout in. I loved having my mommy and sisters in my class again.

Canyon spent a lot of time just playing, but towards the end of the week, he started to get restless and wanted to "go" all the time. I felt bad because he just wanted out and even though we had went from a couple of different houses, it wasn't enough. I loved that Canyon took a liking to my niece Emma. She is 10 and she is great with kids. I know she will be an awesome mommy someday. She would just let Canyon take her by the hand and lead her wherever his heart desired. It was a nice break! I loved that Canyon was able to spend time with his cousins, he did a lot of watching and learning.

I always have a little bit of a hard time when it comes time to leave again. It's not that I don't like Boise, I am doing very well up there...no complaints, but I do miss my family very much. We traveled home on New Year's Day after attending Josh's baby boy Jace's baby blessing in Bountiful, Utah. I was glad that Josh was able to get the special permission to have him blessed so that we could be there. We had one more quick family lunch and hit the road. We were able to get a quick family picture which felt practically impossible, and there may be some unhappy faces, but at least we're almost all there (Camille is the only missing family member).

Uncle Chandler is a lot of fun to play with!

Canyon playing with Uncle Ryan

We were blessed to return home to our beautiful home, empty as it was, it was safe and we were happy.

Hopefully I can get my hands on some more pictures...

Family Christmas Pictures

Jon and Cherie are always so nice to invite us to hang out with them. They invited us to come to their ward Christmas party and they happened to be taking everyone's pictures. Of course, we had to get our turn as well :)

Despain Family

The bigger the family, the harder it is to get a good picture of Everyone all together! This year, we were able to have everyone together for Thanksgiving, and trying to get pictures was a joke! The biggest problem this time around was that it was late--thus the reason for my very unhappy little boy. 

I love having pictures whether they're perfect or not, so a little discomfort at times is a-ok...it's not often that the whole family can be together!

The Despain Family

Nona and Nono with all of their Great-Grandchildren!

Rick and Susy, with all of their grandchildren!

Thanksgiving-- for me

I was so grateful that we had the opportunity to not only go to Utah this year for Thanksgiving, but we were able to stay for an entire week. I consider us very fortunate. I am grateful Casey has such a good job that he can provide for us, and that his boss' value family and allowed him to leave for a longer period of time. Luckily, Casey can do quite a bit from home (as long as he has a computer with Internet access) so being in Utah, he was still able to do the things he needed to.

While in Utah we made sure to stop through Bountiful and see Josh, Jeanene, Jentry, Haleigh, and their new little boy Jace. He is so precious. I was glad that I got to hold him and get to know him a tiny bit. Babies are so miraculous, and Jace is definitely no exception! He is so beautiful. 

We stayed in Eureka at my parents house, and when we got there we had my parents and Jen and Chandler there waiting to see us. It had been a long day, but we were glad to be able to stay up and visit for a little while. My parents finally have their addition mostly done, so Sunday, when more of the family was there...it didn't feel quite as crowded as it can at times. I am so happy that they've been able to progress on a long project that has taken a lot of time and work. 

It was nice to go to church in Eureka, and to know the people there. I felt kind of ridiculous because I could hardly talk to anyone without completely losing it. I miss the people I used to get to associate with more often. I especially miss the little girls I used to Babysit. They were so sweet and I loved them so much. I was glad to see that they were doing well and remembered me. We picked the right day to go to church in Eureka, because Summer, Ryan, and their two oldest were talking in church. They did a great job. 

The week flew by, and I spent the majority of it with my sister Summer. Both my parents had to work the first half of the week. I was supposed to go down to Orem and visit with a couple of my friends, but that didn't end up working out, and that was a major bummer for me. :( Canyon really enjoyed being able to always have something new and exciting to play with. He stayed so entertained, we were pretty impressed.

One goal I had for the time I was in Eureka, was to be able to go on walks with my mom. I was so glad that she was okay with that, because we went on a walk every day that it was possible for us to do so. I love my mom, and I love the walks we always took together. She is such a wonderful lady, and she is really one of my best friends. I hope she knows how much I love her and appreciate her. 

We got doubly fortunate this year, because we were able to go to TWO Family Thanksgivings! I wasn't going to complain! I made sure I exercised hard so that it wouldn't be "so bad". We had a Thanksgiving lunch at my parents, and then went to Provo for a Thanksgiving dinner with Casey's family. I am always glad when we get to spend time with the Despain's because it always ends up being really nice and you know that the family likes to be together. We played games, took some pictures, and of course ate, ate, ate.

Unfortunately, the day could only last so long, and we had a girls day planned for Friday so we weren't able to spend as much time altogether with the family. I was grateful that they boys were willing to watch kids so we could go and make watches and eat lunch together. I enjoyed it, but it was also stressful because for any of you who know me...I'm not the most creative gal on the block, so figuring out what would be best for my watch was challenging. The good thing about it, is that I realize I'm not the most creative person, so it didn't take me as long because I didn't think too long or hard about it. 

Our last full day was Saturday. Josh and Jeanene came up, so the boys all went out to shoot rabbits. The problem was, there weren't any rabbits to shoot. So, at least they got a little time together to LOOK for rabbits. We can say that they didn't get much target practice though. Our favorite thing to do when the boys are gone, is watch a chick flick, and we did just that. It was just one on tv, so nothing too planned, but even though it was so simple, I enjoyed it a lot.

Sunday was really hard for me to leave. My mom shared with me a little story she tells her class at the beginning of each year. It was called The Kissing Hand I believe. The story is about a little raccoon that didn't want to leave his mom. His mom loved him and let him know that we all have to do things we don't want to do sometimes. She encouraged him. She gave him a kiss on his hand and told him that every time he was missing his mom he just had to put his hand to his cheek and remember "mommy loves you. mommy loves you." 

Of course, this story put tears in my eyes, and makes my heart ache every time I think of it. I miss my mom a lot. Before my mom left for church and we were about to head back to Idaho, my mom kissed my hand. As cheesy as that sounds, it really meant a lot to me. I know that my parents love me because they do such a great job of helping me to remember, but it doesn't make the ache disappear. I may be an adult now...but I am still a pretty big baby who still needs her mommy and daddy.

I'm so grateful for this time of year. For the holiday's and the family that I have to share them with. I am grateful for Casey and how supportive and understanding he is of me. I couldn't ask for a better, more patient husband. I am grateful for Canyon and though at times he can be a real challenge, I love him more and more every second. I am so extremely thankful for the gospel. For our Savior Jesus Christ who loves each of us individually. I know he wants us to be happy and to love one another. I am so grateful for all the blessings we receive every single day. It is so easy to take things for granted, but I am so grateful for our health, our home, our cars, our families, our food, our safety, Casey's job, my job, being able to stay home with our little boy, the scriptures, the priesthood, and most especially the love I learn from Jesus Christ. 

I know that I have a hard time feeling as Christ would feel sometimes, but I am trying to have a more perfect love and understanding of not only others, but of myself. He has faith in me, and I know that I can be the woman he wants me to be.

As always, I didn't take pictures at Thanksgiving because my camera gives me a headache...so I will add them as other's share them with me :)

Bursting at the seams!!!

Canyon is at that age where he is a silly little goof ball and completely ADORABLE! Casey and I love to just sit and observe him. He likes to talk, talk, talk...though not in "real" words. He likes to dance, jump, play chase, find new hiding places, and carry about as many toys at one time as possible!

Canyon really makes us laugh, and I don't think he even tries to do it. Unlike a lot of kids his age, he won't "pose" or even hold still for a picture, and when he sees he's being recorded...he stops doing whatever he was doing at that time. So, you have to take our word for it that he is the cutest and funniest little boy ever!

We are very excited that Canyon is starting to become more cuddly. We have always wanted to cuddle with him, but he just won't do it. That is totally changing now! He will give us hugs, kisses, and just sit contently on our lap watching youtube videos about Christ. He loves music, and I love the spirit I feel when we can watch Primary Children's songs sang with slideshows of Jesus.

The other night, Canyon was in a particularly loving mood, and he kept giving Casey and I Great Big Kisses...alternating between the two of us. He's been on a kick where he makes the "MUAH" sound as LOUDLY as he can. A lot of the time, he will just do that with his stuffed bear or dog, but every so often we get one from the dog or bear too. Just before bed time, we were singing him a song and about to lay him down for bed and he started the kisses! We just enjoyed it as long as he'd give it! Then he decided to let his hand do the kissing and he would still make the noise and put his hand to our mouths. I never know where he comes up with this stuff, but I am his biggest fan.

I feel like I am bursting at the seams with LOVE for this little boy. It just keeps getting better and better, and though a lot of the time it is REALLY hard, I love being this little boys mommy. I love being able to spend time with him every day and witness the new little things he picks up!

Canyon is a pretty lucky little boy if you ask me.  He has a mommy and daddy who love him more than anything, and both of us are able to spend a lot of time with him.

I have a couple of recent videos I took from my phone...a little easier than an actual camera! Posted them, so check them out. It's much better live...but you get the idea :)